Escape…

Jan7

I must have fallen and hit my head on the pavement, I felt hands on my legs and slowly, I slipped away. Then the pulling started, I felt searing pain tearing my insides into million pieces. I wanted to scream but couldn’t. It was a scary feeling. I felt trapped, immobile but my senses were sharp. I wanted to feel my body but it was like being wrapped in a bubble.

It was a floating kind of feeling, if you know what I mean but I guess you don’t. Then darkness came, it was oppressive and in my comatose existence, I welcomed it.

I was like that for God knows how long when suddenly, sounds began to filter to me. It wasn’t clear or anything but I could make out voices. By now, I think I know a bit about my situation but escaping from wherever I am, was impossible.

Again, I tried to touch tangible things but I was weightless, helpless and the floating feeling returned in intensity. Then I realised that my mind could do things. I thought of Tom, my son, and immediately I was racing towards his school, invisible but in a life form all the same.

I breezed inside and saw him in the lecture room, his face ashen and seemed carved out of granite. I wanted to touch him but there was this irrepressible gulf. I felt defeated and thought of my husband. My mind took me on a whirlwind drive back to the hospital.

That was the first time I saw myself.

My bloated face looked blue and lifeless. Tubes were sticking out from every part of my body. Nathan, my husband was speaking but I couldn’t make out the words properly. I concentrated all my energy and studied his lips and finally, caught what he was saying,

‘It’s been five years doctor! I want my wife back.’

The doctor shook his head and patted my husband on the shoulder and slowly walked out of the room.

Then the memories rushed back.

I’ve been in coma for five years? I could float out of my body and see things! I’m trapped. I thought and watched my husband approach me on the bed. He crouched low and his hands slowly found the exposed part of my arm.

‘Please forgive me Carey, I’m so sorry. I tried…’ And his voice trailed away.

What? Wait, don’t pull the plug, I’m here, don’t kill me! Don’t stop my life support!’ I screamed with everything I’ve got but Nathan walked to the other side of the bed and a miracle occurred, he stopped midway. Staring at me.

He paused for a while and looking straight at me he said, ‘I’ll fight for you Carey, I’ll wait. You’ll come back to me and the boys.’

I guess I escaped but how on earth am I going to open my eyes. I can hear things, I can see but the doctors thought I’m brain-dead. I really want to live… Can you please help me?

****************

This story, whatever it is, came to my mind today early in the morning when my three-year old son trotter to my room and crept under the covers. Since my sleep was broken, I thought of the former Israeli Prime minister, Ariel Sharon who had been in a coma since 2006. It’s mysterious how someone could slip into a coma while still alive. Some come out of it and some don’t. I guess we should be thankful for everyday we see the sun. On a lighter note, Carey came out of the coma and it was happy days again. If only life is as simple as fiction.

Thanks for reading and have a brilliant week friends!

Much love. 🙂

The Miry Clay!

Aug9

My hands got stuck in the clay

My skin melts into its blackness.

I became one with it!

I slouched through the mush of my decay.

I smelt the perfume of my horrors.

And wept at the snigger of the hollow.

I looked up and saw the light.

I clawed through the darkness.

I miffed through my tears and felt

The sorrow of the miry Clay.

****

My soul sniffed my shame.

My hands shook with defeat.

I struggled to save what was left,

But grasp empty air!

Love looked me in the eyes and screamed.

Faithfulness hissed at my discomfort.

Hope staggered when I called.

Faith strolled past me in disgust.

Mercy held me close…

And I caught a glimpse of heaven.

I am, but a clay…

________________________________

Can love forgive all sins?

******

I wrote this poem when I heard the story of a woman whose husband repeatedly abused her, physically and emotionally. She was still willing to forgive him, she tried to make people see things through the eyes of her abusive husband, calling him the miry clay, insisting that he has issues!!!

Well, this is me writing in the POV (point of view) of this vile man! (By the way, she’s had a miscarriage as a result of the emotional trauma she’d been subjected to)

And believe me, it was difficult trying to know what goes through the mind of such a horrible man! It’s sad that so many women (and sometimes men!) are stranded in abusive relationships, and the heart wrenching part is when the abused tried to explain the irrational behaviours of their partners! I know we cannot be overly protective of our loved ones, but intervening subtly can really prevent tragedies.

One way is by speaking to the abuser, encouraging him/her to seek help for his/her anger, but it’s easier said than done.

The crux of the matter is, how would you know that you’re falling in love with a monster? And, is there hope for the violent?

These are difficult questions to answer and I won’t even try but from my little office in London, I wish you, my friends, a peaceful, love filled weekend!!

Much love, always!

🙂

To hold….

Jul26

To hold against all odds.

To love against all odds.

‘Let’s make love, not war,’

‘If only these were the wishes of the majority,’

said the wrinkled old lady.

‘Well,’ quipped the husband,

‘The earth will explode with love then,’

And he smiled.

Well this weekend, I hope we’ll all make love (erm… in whatever form, it doesn’t have to be the real thing … 😉 you know what I mean! 😉 ), and not war, I hope we’ll all smile and not frown, I sincerely wish we’ll all be happy and not sad, because according to C.S Lewis, ‘Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness is there in our lives!’ I guess, I shouldn’t say more.

Have a love filled weekend my dear friends!

Much love, always!

🙂 🙂

Stranded At Santum Close

Jul7

Linda moved away from husband, tears in her eyes. She hated his anger and bickering, it was like a stab wound to her delicate heart.

‘Answer me!’ Gordon screamed spurning her around, she slipped and landed on the floor, grimacing in pain. But Gordon was past caring, he bent over her, his dark hair dishevelled. His six-foot frame shaking with uncontrollable rage. There was a deranged glint in his eyes.

‘Who the hell is big Joe? I sure don’t know him among your cousins,’ he snarled and raised his massive hands as if to strike her, she averted his gaze and hid her face under the crop of her arms. Gordon continued his tirade of abuse nonetheless,

‘You have his number on your phone, you have him on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter and yet, I don’t know him, answer me!’

Then he bent down and carried her effortlessly from the marble floor of their five bedroom end of terrace property and threw her on the bed. She heard footsteps coming up the stairs and knew their sons must have heard the noise.

‘Keep your voice down,’ she begged but he continued, ignoring her pleading.

‘You are now a celebrity eh? Having men eat from your palms but listen to me and listen good,’ he narrowed his eyes to drive his points home, ‘you ARE still my wife, and must tell me everything!’

And with that, he stomped out of the room, almost colliding with Eliza, their eldest son. She heard him taking the car keys from the fire-place, moments later, the sound of raving engines soon became a distant echo.

Eliza lingered at the doorway, his face puffed up from sleep. He stared at his mom and the sadness in his eyes wrenched her heart out. Without a single word, he closed the door and walked away.

Linda decided not to cry, her tears would achieve nothing, the only thing that could ease her pain was work. She leapt up from the bed and went straight to the bathroom. As she scrubbed her body, she wondered why Gordon, her husband did not trust her anymore.

They’ve been married for twenty-five years, they met at college and have been together ever since. Linda’s faithfulness to her husband and kids has never been in doubt, until now. Gordon was the only one who doubted her – all her friends and extended family knew she would lick the ground he walked on and she knew he loved her too, but why the sudden mistrust and jealousy?

Linda shook her head in confusion and finished bathing. She left the bathroom and sauntered to the room. Within minutes, she finished dressing and was ready to go. She lingered briefly at the full length mirror in the bedroom. She was forty-five years old but looked thirty. Her luscious dark hair flowed easily to her back, her full painted lips parted in an empty smile and her eyes looked sad.

Linda was aware of her extraordinary beauty but it didn’t get to her. Her well proportioned body seemed to have fared well regardless of the four children which came out of her.

She rubbed her slim manicured hands on her face and sighed.

‘I love you Gordon.’ she said aloud but her feeling of sadness persisted.

She left the room and saw Eliza and his brothers outside the door.

‘Mom, dad is getting worse,’ Eliza said in a matter of fact tone, he looked worried.

‘It’s just a phase,’ Linda replied in an unconvincing tone, ‘it would pass.’

She hugged her sons and slowly made her way down the stairs.

‘What about the family picnic? Today is bank holiday mom, I don’t want you to go to work.’ said Luke, her last son.

‘I have to,’ she said, ruffling his blonde hair, his pale skin grew paler at her touch. When she got to the living room, she took the second car keys but on second thoughts, left it on the centre table.

‘I won’t be long, just a few files to work on and I’ll be home in time for lunch.’

Eliza nodded absent-mindedly.

Unbeknown to him, that would be the last time he would set his eyes on his mother.

****************************

I’ve not written short stories in a while, I wrote this weeks ago and just stumbled on it while I was musing about some real life events. Through out this month, I’ll write this story, it’s loosely based around true events that I’d seen happened to some very close friends. But I’m going to fabricate some facts as well. I’ll post this story once a week and when it’s done, provided I get great response from you my friends, I’ll think of what to do with it.

The next instalment would be Wednesday, but I’ll still be posting ‘breaking news’ (life experiences) as they come.

A word of advise, live well – there are no perfect relationships but you can be the best, wherever you find yourself!

Have a wonderful week!

Much love, always.

🙂

A New Life

Jul1

(Photo credit: Arifhasan)

I watched in awe as splendour drips from your throne.

I asked you this questions,

How do you heal broken bones?

How do heal crushed spirits?

How do you heal broken homes?

How do you save man from himself?

How do you save the depressed?

The hungry?

The weak?

And the forgotten?

And you answered me, your eyes filled with kindness,

‘I infuse life…

Look at my incredible creations,

the rolling hills, the birds, the flowers

my mountains in the clouds,

I give new life, even when the old wears away…’

Then I woke up.

This my poetic thought for this week, sometimes when we feel weak and tired of life, ( and it can happen to the most positive person on earth) just remember that you’re not alone. You’re not an accident in the equation of life, your life matters, you don’t have to believe in a God to know that life didn’t begin with ‘the big bang theory’ there is a reason for YOU. Let that be at the back of your mind through out this month. This is the first day of a beautiful month, a month that I hope would be free from heart aches and troubles for mankind, life is incredibly short but it can also be awesome and beautiful. I wish you sound health, peace and love where ever you are in the world! 🙂

I have missed many posts, friends, do bear with me, I promise to read all your awesome posts as soon as I can. I wish you all a prosperous and peaceful month, above all, please… Live well…

Much love, always.

🙂 🙂

Grandeur Of Illusions

Jun27

No one is meant to live forever…

I call it the grandeur of illusion. When mere mortals believe they can physically cheat death. In another vein, we can live forever, (now I’m contradicting myself, aren’t I? Forgive me dear friends, I’m a writer) in the hearts and minds of people, by our words, influences, actions and deeds. We don’t live forever by what we accumulate or our great beauty – the aforementioned is the grandeur of illusion. Beauty fades, kingdoms fall but great stories last forever. Stories of valour, love, kindness and friendship.

I want to appreciate each one of you for praying for my sister SA, your love is not a grandeur of illusion but deeds of love. The operation was a huge success, surgeons were able to repair the damaged valves of her heart, the holes were closed up and her prognosis is good. She’s recovering well…

Yesterday was the longest day of my life, as I waited hours on end, and when she was wheeled out of the theatre with tubes all over her, eyes sealed shut, my heart almost burst out of my ribcage, the worst is over. Thanks so much guys for your love, I appreciate it! I am a grateful friend.

The week is almost over, I hope you’ll all enjoy the rest of this week in relative peace and safety!

Much love, Always!

🙂 🙂

Lonely Humans!

Jun10

(Photo Credit: Vasilio)

Our loves entwined

Our fate predictable…

We are one!

From one golden tower

From the root of life itself,

We grew.

Bear my pain, end our grudge

Strengthen our faith

Swallow our shame

Rekindle our love.

We are one!

We belong together…

********************

This picture speaks volume on its own. It reminded me of us – humans, we are from the same source, we need not be lonely. We belong together and the sooner we know that, the better for us. We can set ourselves apart, using all sorts of barriers – race, religious, ethnicity etc. But there is no denying that we are HUMANS and we do belong together!

Thanks for reading and do have a fantastic week!

Much love, always. 🙂

The Man (Or Woman) In The Mirror.

May13

I stared hard at the mirror, studying my well-shaped eyebrows. I smiled, I frowned – I did all sorts of things. Like widening my mouth to expose my teeth. I saw all my flaws and my only spectator was my twenty-four month old son.

Why was I doing that? You may wonder. I was doing a bit of soul-searching. During my ‘man in the mirror moment,’ all sorts of thoughts went through my head.

I have been hurt.

I have hurt other people (unknowingly!)

I have been fearful!

Others have robbed me of things.

I saw a fairly pretty woman (believe me I had to make serious effort)

I saw a kind-hearted woman.

I saw a lover.

I saw a wife.

I saw a mother.

I saw a friend.

I saw a woman who wanted to change the world in her own little way.

And then I saw other people as well.

My husband (I love him! even when he refuses to take out the trash!)

Friends, bloggers, writers, (even some of my characters crept in)

I saw the homeless, the orphans, the rich, the Queen, and I zoomed in.

And I saw myself.

And then the song of Michael Jackson slowly fills my mind ( I love his music!)

”I’m starting with the man in the mirror,

telling him to make a change!”

What about you? What do you see when you look in the mirror…

I love you guys, let’s all make a change!

Enjoy the rest of your week!

🙂 🙂

The Peace In Forgiveness…

Apr30

(Photo credit: Glenda Otero)

In Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland, Eliza‘s eyes brimmed with tears as they took his wife away, that was the last time he saw her and his heart broke into a million pieces. His six children were taken to another part of the camp. The German officer glared at him with hatred, and pushed him roughly to the crammed dormitory housing hundreds of malnourished prisoners. Eliza knew the end has come, what could he do?

Nothing.

But his eldest son survived the holocaust…

Can his son forgive?

In Congo, Joseph ran wildly through the forest, the stomping sound that the feet of his pursuers made was like the sound of hell. They’d hacked his family to death, the only member of his family who escaped was his youngest daughter, and he feared for her life. He ran for dear life and miraculously, he escaped. Seven months later, he was back to his village, there was nothing left. His daughter had not been found. What could he do?

Nothing.

Can he forgive?

Laura fought off the huge thug who pinned her down the soft grass in the park, his foul breathing on her face. She tried and fought so hard but he beat her mercilessly and had her, over and over again. He dumped her like a rag doll after he finished. There were bite marks on her face – that man had molested her… She was just twelve years old.

Her family was distraught….

Can they forgive?

Can Laura forgive?

Can she forget?

Yes… All these people can forgive. And you can too – And I can. Forgiveness releases you from the pain, the hurt, the anger and the bondage. It’s not easy but it can be done. Through the help of God!

Much love dear friends. 🙂

Have a great day, and a beautiful May (should be in a couple of hours, I guess)

No Secret Ingredient

Apr23

I watched this interesting film on Saturday, ‘Kunfu Panda.’ (It’s a great film, the story line is simply awesome!)

What really struck me about the film was when Po‘s dad told him something which really caught my attention. This duck dude, who was famed for his special noodles said,

‘There is no Secret Ingredient!!!…To make something special you just have to believe it’s special.’

Everyone thought Po’s dad had a secret ingredient which made his noodles tastier and different. But he simply believed in himself and his ability to make a great noddle.

You just have to believe in YOURSELF, your marriage, your friends, your job… Yeah, your job!

Self belief and self-confidence is not being cocky, or damn too sure of yourself. It is having the belief that you can scale greater heights… and succeed.

If you feel you’re worthless, believe me – you are, and why is that? You’ll start behaving in a worthless way, doing things that makes you agree with your thought processes! But the good news is – because you FEEL something doesn’t make it right! You can actually change your thinking! You can rise above your self doubts and lack of confidence.

And I think it’s really simple.

Every morning when you wake up, look in the mirror and say,

‘I can do anything I want to do today!’ (Positive things!)

And believe me, you can, when you believe!

Have a great day everyone!!

Much love, always.

:):)