The Ugly Side…

 

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”The most beautiful as well as the most ugly inclinations of man are not part of a fixed biologically given human nature, but result from the social process which creates man.” Erich Fromm

Recent events in the world are enough to sum up the fact that humanity’s ugly side appears to be dominant. We are very quick to tear apart than build, we hate anything that remotely differs from our way of thinking. We want to love but find that so difficult, rather it’s easy to be suspicious, have zero empathy and yes, we find a safe haven in hatred.

James Carroll got it right when he wrote, ”we cloak ourselves in cold indifference to the unnecessary suffering of others, even when we caused it.”

Hatred brings out our ugly side when we hide behind our knowledge of what’s right and wrong. We believe our lives are somehow a priority compared to others and when we’re not having things going our way, we’re quick to complain, bemoaning our fallen state.

We’re also beautiful creatures, that is when we want to be. Imagine doctors risking lives and limbs to save Ebola-stricken victims in a remote village in Africa or people pooling resources together to save Syrian refugees from the freezing sea. That, is the beauty of human nature just to mention a few.

However, we all have ugly sides, if not, why do we have laws trying to curtail our nastiness from spiralling out of control?

I penned this article shortly after the Nice truck massacre, somehow I couldn’t publish it but it’s still relevant today. Most of the time,  it’s very difficult to comprehend when such tragedies occur, like the killings of African-Americans by rogue white police officers or the killings of thousands by the so called Isis’s mad soldiers or the time when Lord Gen Jeffery Amherst, British Commander-in-Chief of America wrote to Col. H. Bouquet to use Biological weapons (small pox laden blankets) in July 1763 against Native American Indians. He wrote, “You will do well to try to inoculate the Indians by means of blankets, as well as to try every other method that can serve to extirpate this execrable race.” Hitler wanted to wipe out the Jews and subject the world to his madness. In the end, I think our lives shouldn’t be mapped out based on such events no matter how sad.

Humanity is renowned for fortitude in the face of extreme violence. Hitler was keen to turn the world into a huge wasteland, but he failed, even though, in the process, millions lost their lives. The incredible thing I’ve realised is this, our ugliness and monstrosity would not prevail over the beauty and love inherent in us (this is where free-will comes in). That’s contradictory but it’s the truth. As Daniel Goleman wrote, ”societies can be sunk by the weight of ugliness.”

There’s real hatred in the world, just check social media where some segment of humanity compares others as inferior to them. It’s heartbreaking but over the millennia, it’s been part of the history of mankind, the pervading hatred, the palpable feeling of helplessness experienced by slaves which brought the brutal book, ‘The Heart Of Darkness ,’ written by Joseph Conrad to mind. More than ten million people had died in the Congo in the 19th and early 20th century under the rule of the notorious Belgian King, Leopold II. The Congo had been plundered and its inhabitants killed with ruthless efficiency. It’s one of the greatest acts of mass murder in human history. That’s humanity’s ugliness at its height. According to a review on Amazon, ”Conrad makes it painfully clear that the heart of darkness can reside within us all,” how sad!

Unfortunately, the killings in Congo is still ongoing, according to an article written by Owen Jones in the Guardian Newspaper on 6 March 2015, he lamented, ” African lives did not matter enough: a death toll of up to 6 million would surely not have been tolerated elsewhere. For the West, it is a country of little strategic importance.”

Overall, I still believe that our ugly sides can be tamed, maybe I’m wrong?

This article is open to debate, let me know what you think.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend wherever you are in the world!

Much love, always.🙂

 

Notoriety And The Human Psyche

 

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”The mind is like an iceberg, it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water.” Sigmund Freund.

Sigmund Freund was one of the greatest influencers of the twentieth century. He postulated the fact that our minds are like icebergs, what is seen is much different from the unseen. His quote reminded me of the story of an Australian woman, Noela Rukundo, whose husband hired assassins to kill her on a visit to Burundi for the burial of a relative. In a nutshell, the situation boomerang and he got nine years for inciting murder. It must have been a shock to Noela. Her husband certainly didn’t belie the fact he was planning her murder, this was a classic case of notoriety and the human psyche.

According to ask.com, ”The human psyche is the mind or soul. It is the center of an individual’s response to his environment.” While Cambridge Dictionary Online described Notoriety as ” the state of being famous for something bad.

 

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Love is the easiest emotion in the world, yet it could be costly and it needn’t be, love should be the backbone of our world, however, is it? I doubt it, because if it is, we wouldn’t be so divided with our different views. Some may argue that we need to exercise our freedom of expression hence the need for some people to be free to hate. Hatred would certainly make some people notorious and there are people who crave that kind of attention.

I believe love shouldn’t be all about our families and people close to us. We get suspicious of people who look and dress differently to us, we love our little space in the universe and aren’t too keen to share. We moan incessantly about the weather, the Tube (if you’re a Londoner), the government, whether we should leave or stay in the EU, (the UK again). We snort our noses at immigrants, we’re quick to judge but are slow to proffer solutions. For millennia, there are have been wars, unrest, hatred, disaffection and all sorts. Unfortunately, that is the world, it’s not perfect, that’s why we really have to raise the bar of our love level.

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Why do humans commit murder and relish mayhem? I believe the response of people to different situations differs which may ultimately be the catalyst for many destructive reactions. It’s nothing new that notoriety springs from the mind.  ‘For who among men knows the thoughts of man except his own spirit within him?’ 1 Cor: 2:11. This scripture is spot on! The mind is so complex that throughout millennia, people have tried to decipher its secrets.

The human psyche is as complex as the millions of electricity that pulsate through our brains, little wonder detectives bring complex cases to their behavioural psychoanalysis unit. People have recurrent patterns to their lives, following sets of rules which when pointed out to them, they are always surprised at the patterns of their behaviours.

Forgive me if my post is a bit based on psychoanalysis, it’s got to do with the books I’m working on. Lately, I’ve conducted loads of research on human minds and behaviours, when my new books are released, I guess you’ll all understand more.

I’ve been offline for the past few weeks, my sincere apologies. I’ll be visiting as many blogs as time permits. In the meantime, have fun and stay blessed! :):)

(Photo Credit: Flickr)

Much love, always.🙂

 

 

 

Love, Aging, And Everything In Between

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(Photo credits: Flickr)

We are special species. The human race is resilient in the face of adversity,  we come up with interesting concepts about love, aging, and survival. I love the way Jamais Cascio puts it, ”resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.”

I couldn’t agree more. We can thrive when all hopes seem lost, the secret to an ageless, carefree life is contentment with who you are. People with disembodied image of themselves tend to continually conflicts with life.

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                                                                       (Lines of wisdom)

 When everything seems to go pear-shaped, humanity always has a way of making things better. Yes, sometimes, we fail dismally, however, that has never stopped humanity. I believe in humanity, I believe in love and I am a forever optimist that things can always get better.

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                                                            (I love The Hope In Her Eyes)

Valentine shouldn’t be about love only, I reckon it should also be about hope, faith, and perseverance.

Hope for the parents of a six-year-old girl afflicted with cancer that she would get better with the right treatment, faith that a job seeker would get a befitting job and his life wouldn’t be a constant struggle, and perseverance in the face of overwhelming defeat. Never giving up because there would be a time, when a breakthrough actually looms beside defeat.

22055347934_0ca6270d9a_o (2)                                                                  (I love his carefree smile)

I believe in humanity, do you?

I’ll leave you guys with this simple quote by Kushandwizdom, ”faith makes all things possible, hope makes all things work and love makes all things beautiful.”

I hope your lives would be filled with faith, hope, and love.

Have a wonderful Valentine.🙂

Much love always!
🙂

A Day In January…

 

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                                                                       This is how I feel right now

 (Photo credit: Flickr)

I dug my teeth into my frozen lips as the winter air attacked me with gusto; my veins bulged out in protest. I hunched and huffed, hugging myself in a bid to thwart the desperate cold but it was to no avail.

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                                                           You can guess how cold it is!

I was returning from a conference where a renowned expert, whose soft-spoken voice intoned deeply into my bored mind talked about the benefits of controlling our thoughts in order to be more productive. Granted that I did gained some insight into how to train and control my thoughts, nevertheless, I wasn’t sure that my thoughts could control me and not the other way round. Uncannily, my winter-ravaged brain had stylishly blotted the speaker’s name from my mind. I didn’t think controlling my thoughts could be hard, so I decided to put it to the test.

Strangely, I found my thoughts running haywire from the mundane to the downright funny, then to the sober and finally back to the speaker.

I got zero point.

My environment, things I see and feel could control my thoughts. It was winter, and I would be a fool to think that it was summer. So what happens to us naturally has great impact on our thought processes. Despite that, we could still control our thoughts through discipline although that’s open to debate.

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                                                                          This is where I want to be!

The chilly January air continued its assault on my hapless face as I trudged home and the words of the speaker returned subtly. The man was right and I determined to have firm control on what goes through my mind.

When I got home, I switched the heater on, dove under the duvet and brought out my worn out diary, which reminded me of Yiyun Li’s ‘A Sheltered Woman.’ My tired eyes scanned through my schedule for Friday and as my eyes rested on the date, I was shocked, my amazement wasn’t feigned, it was genuine. Today is the 15th, the year is flying faster than my 5-year-old son’s kite.

The year had strolled in like an old lover, sniffing around with familiarity, extending his love, yet restraining back. Days had flown into two weeks and before we know it, shops would be brimming with Valentines cards. It’s unbelievable.

I had twenty minutes of solitude before jumping back into the fray, a tired sigh escaped my lips, then my thoughts strayed to the news of Alan Rickman’s passing and my heart sank. He was a beloved actor, I loved his role as the ‘Sheriff Of Nottingham in Robin Hood. I closed my eyes, my aim was absolute peace, no thoughts but it was a futile effort.

My mind drifted again, back to the speaker who believed that tiredness, anxieties, worry, fear all stem from our minds, eating deep into our days as we lose track of our jobs, he believes it affects our productivity and in a way, our lives.

However, how do we control our thoughts?

I have few theories on that but would love to read what you think.

This is my first post of the year. I don’t have a new year resolution. However, I’m determined to do things better than I did last year, which is recognising the things I could change while taking positive actions and ignoring things that could eat into my time. Like Reinhold Niebuhr would say, ”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I hope you’ll all have a fabulous weekend!

Much love, always!

🙂

The Happy Isles

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(Photo credit: Flickr)

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,

And though We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Ulysses by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

 

‘Thinking about that poem a lot lately and I think what it says is that while it’s tempting to play it safe, the more we’re willing to risk, the more alive we are. At the end what we regret most are chances we never took.’

Dr Frasier Crane.

Trying to sum up this year has left me floundering for the perfect words to write, but then, Ulysses by Alfred, Lord Tennyson came to mind. I realised that the reason we’re sometimes miserable in life is neglecting the things that are dear to our hearts.

‘It’s easier said than done, a dear friend once quipped wryly, fate is a cruel lover.’ I disagreed with her. Most times, we leave our lives in the hands of fate when we can dictate how we want things to turn. Don’t get me wrong, there are many things we can’t control, yet in the same vein, there are things within OUR control.

The end of a year signals something final and irreversible. Likewise, it also foretold adventures not yet taken, dreams not yet realised and battles not yet fought nor won.  It could however, prove an unsettling experience if we believe our lives aren’t what we want it to be by doing nothing to make it what it ought to be.

There’s a way out though, why not envision what you want and take ample steps towards it? By doing so, you would be able to satisfy your innermost desires knowing that you tried and succeeded or maybe not but at least, you took action.

The new year is almost here, and I want to use this opportunity to appreciate my friends all over the world, for their continued support and friendship. I hope 2016 would be a better year and that peace and love would be a visible part of our lives in the new year!

I hope we would touch our ‘Happy Isles’ in 2016, we just need to believe so.

Much love friends, and happy New Year!
🙂

 

A Time To Love

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(Photo credit: Flickr)

‘Christmas is the perfect time to celebrate the love of God and family and to create memories that will last forever. Jesus is God’s perfect, indescribable gift. The amazing thing is that not only are we able to receive this gift, but we are able to share it with others on Christmas and every other day of the year.’

Joel Osteen

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(I love the Lake District!)

‘Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.’

Norman Vincent Peale

The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of love and of generosity and of goodness. It illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world’s busy life and become more interested in people than in things.

Thomas S. Monson

Reading these quotes reminded me of the real meaning of Christmas. It’s a time of love, a time to share, and a time to have fun. Some people aren’t so lucky to be surrounded by loved ones this Christmas but we could help in our own way by donating money, food supplies to charities like the Salvation army and spread the spirit of love wherever we find ourselves.

From my end here, I wish every one of you a merry Christmas and a happy new year! If you don’t celebrate Christmas, happy holidays!

Much love, always.🙂

On Humanity And Idiosyncrasies

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(My ideal place to be now!)

“Man surprised me most about humanity. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” Dalai Lama

If we continually observe the world, it’s really filled with sad news, war, war, and war! Yet in the midst of the seemingly absurd, grotesque, insane, and obscene, we have to carry on living.

My husband and I were having one of our ‘philosophical chats’ when he quoted Dalai Lama, it hit me like a sledgehammer; am I working too hard?

However, after a brief soul-searching I came to this verdict: I love life, I really enjoy living even when I’m working hard and juggling multiple responsibilities with kids screaming for my attention, countless office deadlines and uncooperative plots ( my novels and several other manuscripts I’m working on).

I am absolutely certain that I enjoy my idiosyncratic attitude to living because life has no part two, there are no dress rehearsals or a delete button. We take what we have, use it wisely and hope for the best, and I think we ought to strive to find joy in life in any way we can.

December is a month of frenzy cum feverish spending, planning, office parties. Why not pause for a while, enjoy the snow-capped mountains, (if there’s one in your vicinity), the fake reindeer, and annoying Christmas jingles that normally grated on your nerves.

I intend to, I hope you’ll all enjoy everyday living.

Have a fantastic weekend friends!

Much love, always.🙂