The Grace of a Nightingale: An Odyssey Of Survival

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I had the wonderful privilege of reading an inspiring article on Arrow Gate’s website. The post was about a nonfiction book written by a woman with a big heart. Mary Anne Willow. Her memoir titled, ‘The Grace Of A Nightingale’ would be published soon.

Mary Anne touched on many things, depression, divorce, suicide, hope in the midst of despair and vaginal Mesh, a procedure recently suspended due to the complications many women faced when they had it done. You can’t hide what’s in your heart, and Mary Anne’s got lots to share with the world. Why not click on the link below and read about this? And maybe when the book’s out, you would all read the story of this awesome woman.

I can’t wait to see this memoir in print. It depicted the resilience of the human’s spirit. We need books like this in the world.

That’s all for now friends.

I hope we’ll all enjoy the rest of our weekend.

Much love, always! 🙂

via The Grace of a Nightingale: An Odyssey Of Survival

Brave Heart

Aug15

(Photo Credit: Flickr)

”Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” Desmond Tutu

***

John Parker wanted to tell the kind man who’d saved him from death, but the words caught in his throat. He mumbled inaudibly then coughed loudly. He desperately wanted to unburden and bare his soul to Anselm but realised his new friend would probably call him a monster.

Time dragged on, and Parker waited. The silence in the room was as thick as a winter fog. How could he utter such words to a total stranger? How could he tell Anselm that his girlfriend of 12 years had been diced to pieces and kept inside his deep freezer. Why? Anselm may ask. ‘Oh,’ he may simply shrug his skinny shoulders and just give an excuse, maybe, because he caught her cheating and their seven-year old daughter, Amber, wasn’t his after all. How could he tell Anselm that he, Parker, was a psycho, a sociopath, a sadist whose pain went deeper than imagined? How in heaven’s name could he tell his new pal that he’d been in prison; a prison of the mind where walls whispered obscenities and the only respite he got would be to slash himself open. How could he say such words?

‘I don’t think I should be in this room,’ Parker finally said and a sad sigh escaped his trembling lips. ‘I should go now.’

He stood up but Anselm stopped him with a wave of his large hands.

‘Sit down,’ the older man said firmly. Parker obeyed, his eyes staring straight ahead.

‘You’ve done bad things. I see it in your eyes. Even there’s pain in death, killing yourself doesn’t make it all go away. Get yourself treated, ask forgiveness and turn yourself in. There’s still redemption son.’

John Parker stared at Anselm. His English was flawless, he’d dropped the German accent.

‘Who are you?’ Parker asked slowly.

‘I’m your conscience,’ was the apt reply and the room began to spin.

John woke up with a start, his heart beating wildly. He sat up and checked the bedside clock. It was 3 a.m. in the morning. He’d been dreaming, it was a huge relief but the incident in the dream wasn’t far from reality, his eyes sought his wife of 12 years who was sleeping soundly. He’d been hiding the voices in his head well, it was difficult explaining to his GP that he’d been battling severe depression for three years. After the loss of his job and his wife became the breadwinner, he’d slowly sunk deeper into the quagmire of depression.

There’s only one brave thing left to do, he tapped his wife gently on the shoulder, it’s better safe than sorry, he thought.

***

NP: Guys, I’m sorry I couldn’t post this story yesterday, I tried but life just got in the way. I totally had a different plot to this story but then, it occurred to me that men hide their frailty. They go through life as brave hearts, pillars, unmovable and then they crumple! If you’re a man reading this, please, don’t bottle things up if you’re not well. Life is in phases. Talk to your spouse, close friend or even your doctor. Depression affects a lot of people in our society today and some needless deaths could easily have been avoided if things hadn’t gotten out of hand.

The first part of this story is here if you want to catch up: https://seyisandradavid.org/2015/08/11/dreaming-when-awake/

I hope you’ll all have a wonderful weekend!

Much love, always!! 🙂

The Miry Clay!

Aug9

My hands got stuck in the clay

My skin melts into its blackness.

I became one with it!

I slouched through the mush of my decay.

I smelt the perfume of my horrors.

And wept at the snigger of the hollow.

I looked up and saw the light.

I clawed through the darkness.

I miffed through my tears and felt

The sorrow of the miry Clay.

****

My soul sniffed my shame.

My hands shook with defeat.

I struggled to save what was left,

But grasp empty air!

Love looked me in the eyes and screamed.

Faithfulness hissed at my discomfort.

Hope staggered when I called.

Faith strolled past me in disgust.

Mercy held me close…

And I caught a glimpse of heaven.

I am, but a clay…

________________________________

Can love forgive all sins?

******

I wrote this poem when I heard the story of a woman whose husband repeatedly abused her, physically and emotionally. She was still willing to forgive him, she tried to make people see things through the eyes of her abusive husband, calling him the miry clay, insisting that he has issues!!!

Well, this is me writing in the POV (point of view) of this vile man! (By the way, she’s had a miscarriage as a result of the emotional trauma she’d been subjected to)

And believe me, it was difficult trying to know what goes through the mind of such a horrible man! It’s sad that so many women (and sometimes men!) are stranded in abusive relationships, and the heart wrenching part is when the abused tried to explain the irrational behaviours of their partners! I know we cannot be overly protective of our loved ones, but intervening subtly can really prevent tragedies.

One way is by speaking to the abuser, encouraging him/her to seek help for his/her anger, but it’s easier said than done.

The crux of the matter is, how would you know that you’re falling in love with a monster? And, is there hope for the violent?

These are difficult questions to answer and I won’t even try but from my little office in London, I wish you, my friends, a peaceful, love filled weekend!!

Much love, always!

🙂

To Save A Life

Nov8

Leo Frigo Bridge (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was glued to the television yesterday while I watched an unbelievable live footage of a woman called Tina Zahn who was in the throes of committing suicide due to post natal depression.

She had sped to the top of Leo Frigo Memorial Bridge in Green Bay, Wisconsin, United States, got out of her car then walked briskly to the edge of the bridge and jumped.

I couldn’t tear myself away while I watched opened mouth as the implausible footage was shown and miraculously, this woman was saved by a brave state trooper, Les Boldt and his colleagues.

As a mother, I know the stress involved in taking care of children especially if one is a working mother, I am not an expert on post natal depression but I do know it’s a feeling of utter hopelessness compounded by being responsible for a baby who is wholly and completely dependent on you.

I cannot begin to fathom the desperation involved before a person will want to take his or her own life and it saddens me greatly. But I do know this, love can halt this evil, malicious monster.

I know depression must be this total feeling of being engulfed in the prison of complete darkness with no possibility of a parole or been trapped and unable to reach out for help, this story ended in a miracle but sadly some don’t.

I do know that we have a duty to save a life, like that state trooper, we can be more friendly, loving and kinder to people. You never know, you might be the miracle somebody somewhere needs right now! Maybe a little whisper, maybe a smile or even a nod could send love signal to a dying soul.

I have this infinite belief that this world is full of loving people and like my husband would say,

”See the doughnut, not the empty hole.”

Just a little love and a listening ear could banish that demon of hopelessness.

Let us save a life today…

Will you?