Control « Seyi Sandra David

This is how I feel right now

(Photo credit: Flickr)

I dug my teeth into my frozen lips as the winter air attacked me with gusto; my veins bulged out in protest. I hunched and huffed, hugging myself in a bid to thwart the desperate cold but it was to no avail.

You can guess how cold it is!

I was returning from a conference where a renowned expert, whose soft-spoken voice intoned deeply into my bored mind talked about the benefits of controlling our thoughts in order to be more productive. Granted that I did gained some insight into how to train and control my thoughts, nevertheless, I wasn’t sure that my thoughts could control me and not the other way round. Uncannily, my winter-ravaged brain had stylishly blotted the speaker’s name from my mind. I didn’t think controlling my thoughts could be hard, so I decided to put it to the test.

Strangely, I found my thoughts running haywire from the mundane to the downright funny, then to the sober and finally back to the speaker.

I got zero point.

My environment, things I see and feel could control my thoughts. It was winter, and I would be a fool to think that it was summer. So what happens to us naturally has great impact on our thought processes. Despite that, we could still control our thoughts through discipline although that’s open to debate.

This is where I want to be!

The chilly January air continued its assault on my hapless face as I trudged home and the words of the speaker returned subtly. The man was right and I determined to have firm control on what goes through my mind.

When I got home, I switched the heater on, dove under the duvet and brought out my worn out diary, which reminded me of Yiyun Li’s ‘A Sheltered Woman.’ My tired eyes scanned through my schedule for Friday and as my eyes rested on the date, I was shocked, my amazement wasn’t feigned, it was genuine. Today is the 15th, the year is flying faster than my 5-year-old son’s kite.

The year had strolled in like an old lover, sniffing around with familiarity, extending his love, yet restraining back. Days had flown into two weeks and before we know it, shops would be brimming with Valentines cards. It’s unbelievable.

I had twenty minutes of solitude before jumping back into the fray, a tired sigh escaped my lips, then my thoughts strayed to the news of Alan Rickman’s passing and my heart sank. He was a beloved actor, I loved his role as the ‘Sheriff Of Nottingham in Robin Hood. I closed my eyes, my aim was absolute peace, no thoughts but it was a futile effort.

My mind drifted again, back to the speaker who believed that tiredness, anxieties, worry, fear all stem from our minds, eating deep into our days as we lose track of our jobs, he believes it affects our productivity and in a way, our lives.

However, how do we control our thoughts?

I have few theories on that but would love to read what you think.

This is my first post of the year. I don’t have a new year resolution. However, I’m determined to do things better than I did last year, which is recognising the things I could change while taking positive actions and ignoring things that could eat into my time. Like Reinhold Niebuhr would say, ”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I hope you’ll all have a fabulous weekend!

Much love, always!

🙂

(Photo credit: Flickr)

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,

And though We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Ulysses by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

‘Thinking about that poem a lot lately and I think what it says is that while it’s tempting to play it safe, the more we’re willing to risk, the more alive we are. At the end what we regret most are chances we never took.’

Dr Frasier Crane.

Trying to sum up this year has left me floundering for the perfect words to write, but then, Ulysses by Alfred, Lord Tennyson came to mind. I realised that the reason we’re sometimes miserable in life is neglecting the things that are dear to our hearts.

‘It’s easier said than done, a dear friend once quipped wryly, fate is a cruel lover.’ I disagreed with her. Most times, we leave our lives in the hands of fate when we can dictate how we want things to turn. Don’t get me wrong, there are many things we can’t control, yet in the same vein, there are things within OUR control.

The end of a year signals something final and irreversible. Likewise, it also foretold adventures not yet taken, dreams not yet realised and battles not yet fought nor won. It could however, prove an unsettling experience if we believe our lives aren’t what we want it to be by doing nothing to make it what it ought to be.

There’s a way out though, why not envision what you want and take ample steps towards it? By doing so, you would be able to satisfy your innermost desires knowing that you tried and succeeded or maybe not but at least, you took action.

The new year is almost here, and I want to use this opportunity to appreciate my friends all over the world, for their continued support and friendship. I hope 2016 would be a better year and that peace and love would be a visible part of our lives in the new year!

I hope we would touch our ‘Happy Isles’ in 2016, we just need to believe so.

Much love friends, and happy New Year!
🙂