The Ugly Side…


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”The most beautiful as well as the most ugly inclinations of man are not part of a fixed biologically given human nature, but result from the social process which creates man.” Erich Fromm

Recent events in the world are enough to sum up the fact that humanity’s ugly side appears to be dominant. We are very quick to tear apart than build, we hate anything that remotely differs from our way of thinking. We want to love but find that so difficult, rather it’s easy to be suspicious, have zero empathy and yes, we find a safe haven in hatred.

James Carroll got it right when he wrote, ”we cloak ourselves in cold indifference to the unnecessary suffering of others, even when we caused it.”

Hatred brings out our ugly side when we hide behind our knowledge of what’s right and wrong. We believe our lives are somehow a priority compared to others and when we’re not having things going our way, we’re quick to complain, bemoaning our fallen state.

We’re also beautiful creatures, that is when we want to be. Imagine doctors risking lives and limbs to save Ebola-stricken victims in a remote village in Africa or people pooling resources together to save Syrian refugees from the freezing sea. That, is the beauty of human nature just to mention a few.

However, we all have ugly sides, if not, why do we have laws trying to curtail our nastiness from spiralling out of control?

I penned this article shortly after the Nice truck massacre, somehow I couldn’t publish it but it’s still relevant today. Most of the time,  it’s very difficult to comprehend when such tragedies occur, like the killings of African-Americans by rogue white police officers or the killings of thousands by the so called Isis’s mad soldiers or the time when Lord Gen Jeffery Amherst, British Commander-in-Chief of America wrote to Col. H. Bouquet to use Biological weapons (small pox laden blankets) in July 1763 against Native American Indians. He wrote, “You will do well to try to inoculate the Indians by means of blankets, as well as to try every other method that can serve to extirpate this execrable race.” Hitler wanted to wipe out the Jews and subject the world to his madness. In the end, I think our lives shouldn’t be mapped out based on such events no matter how sad.

Humanity is renowned for fortitude in the face of extreme violence. Hitler was keen to turn the world into a huge wasteland, but he failed, even though, in the process, millions lost their lives. The incredible thing I’ve realised is this, our ugliness and monstrosity would not prevail over the beauty and love inherent in us (this is where free-will comes in). That’s contradictory but it’s the truth. As Daniel Goleman wrote, ”societies can be sunk by the weight of ugliness.”

There’s real hatred in the world, just check social media where some segment of humanity compares others as inferior to them. It’s heartbreaking but over the millennia, it’s been part of the history of mankind, the pervading hatred, the palpable feeling of helplessness experienced by slaves which brought the brutal book, ‘The Heart Of Darkness ,’ written by Joseph Conrad to mind. More than ten million people had died in the Congo in the 19th and early 20th century under the rule of the notorious Belgian King, Leopold II. The Congo had been plundered and its inhabitants killed with ruthless efficiency. It’s one of the greatest acts of mass murder in human history. That’s humanity’s ugliness at its height. According to a review on Amazon, ”Conrad makes it painfully clear that the heart of darkness can reside within us all,” how sad!

Unfortunately, the killings in Congo is still ongoing, according to an article written by Owen Jones in the Guardian Newspaper on 6 March 2015, he lamented, ” African lives did not matter enough: a death toll of up to 6 million would surely not have been tolerated elsewhere. For the West, it is a country of little strategic importance.”

Overall, I still believe that our ugly sides can be tamed, maybe I’m wrong?

This article is open to debate, let me know what you think.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend wherever you are in the world!

Much love, always. 🙂


43 comments on “The Ugly Side…

  1. I don’t think you’re wrong, Seyi. We have to hang on to hope. Thank you for this powerful post. ❤

  2. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:

  3. panhirsch says:

    People are cruel creatures. They kill and they die all over the world. Recent events are known since they happened in relatively safe countries. More atrocities happen each and every day in Africa and Asia…

  4. Lori says:

    Not sure where to begin. This is a deep and emotional topic. It’s difficult not to be affected by what’s happening around us, and also not to have an opinion about it. I believe every single one of us comes from a place of longing to be loved. Each individual’s ego processes that longing differently. So, each individual that doesn’t feel loved will behave differently. Of course, fear plays a part here, too. Some individuals egos will cause them to react out of fear and do ugly things. Just giving a person a hug and telling them they are loved doesn’t always work. Some issues are so deeply rooted, it takes a lot to work them through, and many aren’t willing to do the work it takes. Instead, they lash out. I don’t know the answers, but yes, I do believe the good in us can prevail. There has to be hope …

    • Seyi sandra says:

      Thank you for your insightful comment Lori, and my sincere apology for just replying now.
      I totally understand your point Lori. Recently, I watched a film titled, ‘Thor’ with my family and I really loved the fictional reality and the landscape. And then it dawned on me that ‘earth,’ is our only home, yet, we treat it like garbage, and our fellow inhabitants? We treat them like trash. I sincerely pray for a time when there would be an end to all the hate, the wars, the family feuds, the shootings, the suicide bombings etc. And there could be an end… through love. Like you rightly pointed out, everyone have a longing to love and be loved back. I know it’s a long shot but if everyone in this world gives love a chance, there might be hope for us and our homes.

      I hope you’ll have a wonderful week ahead.

      Much blessings to you!

  5. lorigreer says:

    It is depressing to read about our treatment of others. I believe we must try to do the right thing for all people in all circumstances. Thank you for this sobering, thoughtfull post.

  6. utesmile says:

    There are so many ugly things happening all over the world and some we don’t even know. Life and people are precious and we need to spread more love!

    • Seyi sandra says:

      You’re right Ute, you’re a woman of love, love can heal all wounds. With all the ugliness in the world, love can work its way one step at a time to bring radiance to our world. I appreciate your visit and comment.
      Do have a wonderful week ahead!

      Blessings. 🙂

  7. Great write up Seyi!!Yes, we can’t give up on hope.

    • Seyi sandra says:

      Thanks Mojisola, you’re spot on. We can’t give up hope. Have a brilliant week ahead my friend.
      Much love and blessings to you and all that is yours!
      🙂 🙂

  8. danniehill says:

    A beautiful post and so true. We are good decent people who want to love, but power, greed, envy and small-mindedness gets in the way. And more than that, being detached from God.

    • Seyi sandra says:

      A life detached from God would be restless and prone to evil deeds. Thank you for your visit and kind comment. I hope you’ll have a peaceful and blessed week ahead!
      Much love to you. 🙂

  9. A very informative and emotion-laden article, you’re right, humanity is crippled with self-righteousness and hatred, in spite of that, I believe there’s hope for humanity, there’s love on this planet too, we shouldn’t give up.
    Take care Seyi.
    Christy Nelson.

    • Seyi sandra says:

      I’m glad you think my article is worth a read. I echo your thoughts, I believe our good side would prevail and preserve our future and home.

      Thanks for your visit Christy. Wishing you all the best for the coming week!
      Blessings. 🙂

  10. unclerave says:

    You certainly aren’t wrong, Seyi! I think so many of the individual killers act out of revenge, more than simple hatred. They feel that they, and/or their kind, have been gravely wronged, and they feel that these drastic actions will – somehow – “even the score”. They are not wrong in feeling hurt and persecuted, but they are wrong in taking out their aggressions and frustrations on innocent individuals, that personally had nothing to do with their pains. But, it’s the governments, and quasi-political entities, that kill for power and money, that incite most of the atrocities that are committed by these individuals. I get so upset when people try to write things off as: “they hate us for our freedoms”. That kind of thinking is so devoid of any sense of responsibility. It would be so much easier for individuals to put out “good” if the governments weren’t putting out so much “bad”.

    — YUR

    • Seyi sandra says:

      Such a well thought out comment. I read it twice, and agreed absolutely with every point. Revenge is like a vicious circle with an angry monster at the helms. It’s never going to give the aggrieved party the peace they so deserve. Like you wrote brilliantly, our governments are to be blamed for most of the man-made destruction in our society today.

      I can’t add much to what you’ve written, but can only hope that our governments would stop putting out so much ”bad” so individuals could demonstrate the love that’s inherent in them.

      A brilliant comment, I’m grateful for your visit and I wish you a brilliant week ahead!

      Cheers. 🙂

  11. Al says:

    I’ve had this post open on my laptop since Monday, trying to read it, but life kept getting in the way.

    When I was reading this, I thought about the Nice attack, I thought about the suicide bomber in Syria, I thought about the Chlorine bomb also in Syria last week. There is so much hate in this world. There is room for so much more than that. There is room for people to respect each other, to compromise with each other, to get along, We don’t need to kill off everyone.

    I know your beliefs, and I have been agnostic for years with things swaying me both ways. Lately though with the amount of death, I have to wonder if he does exist. Maybe it’s the modern version of the plagues and the floods. I don’t know. All the while there is people like you around to keep speaking about this, the more hope there is for the human race.

    As for Hitler, yesterday I did a search “Donald Trump born Hitler death” and found a page that said that Trump could be the reincarnation of Hitler. But I also found a page that said Trump doesn’t want the job and he is trying to sabotage himself, originally for ratings and now to just get away from the job.

    Until we can all see the good in people though, whether they are Mexican, Syrian, Brazilian, Martian, German, French, Irish or whatever, then hate will still rise.

    I would love to see the end of wars in my lifetime.

    • Seyi sandra says:

      Hello Al, first I must apologise for just replying to your comment now, I somehow missed several comments and just realised it now.

      You were spot on Al, I just wonder when the killing would stop, I respect your agnostic beliefs and can empathise with your convictions. I believe God does exist and he has given us freewill to do whatever we want. Ultimately, our choices in life would be a catalyst for whatever situation we find ourselves in.

      Until we realise that as humanity, we’re all connected, wars would intensify, but when it becomes engrained in our subconscious mind that we’re the same, that would be the day peace would finally reign in the world. I hope you’ll have a wonderful weekend my friend, my warm regards to your lovely family.

      Blessings. 🙂

      • Al says:

        Thanks Seyi. I hope you all have a great weekend.

        I have been trying to avoid the news of late because I am fed up of seeing the violence and death. I would love if the news led with “Man opens shelter for homeless and people flock to help out” But it doesn’t give ratings unfortunately. It is the morbid curiosity of people that means the news channels will kick out more war and death than they will peace and love.

  12. Ste J says:

    A lot of people have prejudices about the past and people from certain areas when we really need to let such things go and learn to work together for a healthy planet and somewhere thta people feel safe travelling and learning about different cultures.

    The hate figures all seem to be odious little men who have a craving for a power, it’s pathetic really and as for terrorism in the name of belief well that needs to be crushed straight away, no matter the belief.

    • Seyi sandra says:

      Thanks Ste J, for your comment, and my apologies for just replying now. I quiet understand why some people are keen to distance themselves from religion, because it seems to fuel hatred and fanaticism. I hope terrorism would be quashed once and for all, although it all depends on everyone though, people of certain faith where terrorism is prevalent could sensitises their children, that way, it would reduce the execrable belief that a certain god relishes the deaths of infidels and everyone who doesn’t share their archaic view of the world.

      There’s so much beauty in the world, the sadness is, we’re sometimes blind to it all. Enjoy the rest of your weekend my friend!
      Cheers. 🙂

      • Ste J says:

        Education and empowerment of women will go a long way to sidelining those who think any form of religious killing is acceptable, it will take a long time but it will be worth it. We do take for granted what we have, remember those days not so long ago when you could go to a city and feel safe walking around it without thoughts of terrorism in the back of your mind. Seems like o long ago.

      • Seyi sandra says:

        You’re right. I was speaking a Muslim girl at work on Friday and her beliefs is like centuries old, women must be subservient, and are less than men. Culture has a lot to do with everything, and religion is also part of culture.
        I shudder old friend at what the future hold. I use the tube a lot and it’s always at the back of mind, is a bomber on board? Somehow, I hope we’ll all come to a place of safety soon.

      • Ste J says:

        Islam bing the final word makes it immune to criticism for the believers but it is time for a critical look at it despite threats of violence. Other religions have done the same and I think it is in need of it.

        Any crowded place seems cause for fear these days, thank goodness for those people helping to protect us. We owe them a big debt.

      • Seyi sandra says:

        France is trying to stem the flow but every nation on earth needs to take a stand, there are several Muslims who don’t want to associate themselves with terrorism but sadly, it’s engrained in their midst. We have to fight it, there are places you go in London and when you see heavily harmed officers, you breath a sigh of relief. I appreciate them.

      • Seyi sandra says:

        France is trying to stem the flow but every nation on earth needs to take a stand, there are several Muslims who don’t want to associate themselves with terrorism but sadly, it’s engrained in their midst. We have to fight it, there are places you go in London and you’ll see heavily armed officers patrolling, it gives me some kind of comfort and I appreciates them.

  13. Tanveer Rauf says:

    very enriching post.If each one of us around the world start doing one kind deed every day a lot of hatred will disappear. The condition is to be unbiased

  14. Hope, hope and hope. Your words are a manifestation of the gentle and generous soul that you are. 🙂 Keep well my sister.

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