The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I quickened my pace, my heart in my mouth, the winter wind slashed my cheeks into shreds as involuntary tears slipped down my cold cheeks. I dread passing through that horrible alley but I’ve got no choice, none of my friends were going my way, so I had to walk home alone.
I clenched and unclenched my fists and trod on, my heels making a tapping danceable sound. At first, I thought it was my mind but the whispering got louder and louder.
”I shouldn’t have gone, I shouldn’t have gone,” I kept repeating under my breath, at the same time casting surreptitious glances behind me, trying to ignore the deadly whispers in my head. I don’t want to show my fear though it was all over me, its slimy hands rests on my soul with ease.
It was insanely cold and I was scantily dressed for that time of the year. I hugged myself and trudged on, mad with myself for my stubbornness. I was almost out of what I perceived was ‘the danger zone’ when three men appeared out of nowhere, standing a few paces from me, their faces were hidden with their hoods.
They were breathing heavily but I noticed something unusual about them, they seemed to hiss like snakes. the hair at the nape of my neck stood on end but I was ready to fight to the death.
I knew it, I saw this coming, I thought bitterly, my stomach in knots, but strangely enough, I was not afraid. Everything happened so quickly that I barely remembered the details.
The men defied gravity as they flew into me while my arms and legs did the rest, my taekwondo training had not been in vain, all thanks to my mom.
In less than twenty seconds, it was over.
I didn’t wait to see if the men were okay before I took to my heels. When I got home, I crept up to my room and wept bitterly.
I was wasting my time, I could have died easily and would have become another statistic. I glanced at my watch, it was one o’clock in the morning, I knew my mum would be fuming and she had every right to.
I finally managed to sleep because I was so exhausted, barely half an hour later, I was rudely woken up when I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and the whispering began again. I propped myself up on one elbow while I used the other hand to switch my bedside lamb on and the three men I thought I’d beaten were standing calmly against my door, in my room, I could feel their eyes boring into mine.
How did they get in? I should have called the police after I managed to get away, I thought frantically and this time around, I was afraid. My parents’ room was next door and if I scream, I am sure they would be in my room within minutes but do I have the time to do that?
My time was running out, I could feel it deep within my soul. My life flashed before my eyes in seconds and I wished I had listened to my mum. She had warned me to use my time well.
What should I do?
NP: I wrote this at the spur of a moment, it’s a short story. Would love your feedbacks!
Cheers-:)
Seyi Sandra David 
This is great; I was sucked into the story from the very beginning. I think she should ask what they want, since they are just standing there and not hurting her. I love your stories, when I read them I feel like I’m there instead of in the hospital. Thank you!
I am so happy you could connect with my characters, thank you for reading it. I will post one or two more. Take care of yourself!
Love and blessings-:)
What an amazing story, maybe she should ask the three men what they want from her and why they’re following her!
Thanks for your input, I’m glad you like it, will expand it more, stay tuned!
Cheers-:)
Captivating story, with enough gaps left out to trigger my fantasy. I have found more and more, that I enjoy stories not telling everything more enjoyable. Thank you
Thank you for your kind comment Brudberg, will write more on that story.
Cheers-:)
Great story!! My heart started racing. Very surprised to see the men again. What if this time, she recognizes one of them (as someone that recently befriended her….) and she realizes that she has been targeted for some reason, that “people” want something from her, but she doesn’t know what……. Love, Linda
Thank you Linda, I’m so glad you like my story and you’ve even got a thing or two on my character. I will post more and you won’t believe what she is capable of! Thanks for reading it, expect more!
Love and blessings-:)
What the…? You can’t just stop there! I was getting into that then.
Hi Danny, that is just a tip of the iceberg, will publish one or two more before you get the hang of the story. I’m glad you like it though.
Cheers-:)
That was great. I think she should use her “ability” and stop time so she can get away. They are obviously other worldly or demonic, and have abilities, as does she.
Very good story 🙂
Thanks Alastair for your kind words, will post more on that story. So happy you could sniff out something supernatural about her and her ‘friends’ Thank you for your input!
Cheers-:)
You’re welcome 🙂
continue and keep making her a strong woman
Strong people have got secrets! I’m happy you like it, will write more on her and thanks for your comment. Cheers-:)
nice
I love this story. I agree with the comments that say that these must be supernatural beings of some kind. I’m not sure that conversing with them would even be possible, though. She might not be able to physically fight her way out again…or it’s even possible that they don’t want to harm her. I doubt that, though, since they seemed to “hiss like snakes.”
It’s obvious that she had been somewhere that she shouldn’t have been. Perhaps an acknowledgement and confession of that is in order?
I’m going to get a copy of your book soon! I love your writing!
Thanks Jeff, these are the kinds of comments I like, I love it when readers totally connect with a character in my book. I would definately make this into a book soon, but will write more on that character as well. Thank you for taking time to read my story!
Blessings-:)
This is great! I look forward to see what happens next, I think she should ask what they want and then make a run for it before they hurt her.
Thank you so much, will write more on the story and thanks for reading it. Cheers-:)
C’mon , don’t leave me hanging like this ;);)
Hi Freddie, there’s more, will post it soon. Thanks for checking out my blog!
Cheers-:)
you left me hanging. i can’t wait for the next chapter. 🙂
You can read it now Plaridel, thanks for visiting my blog!
Loved it, I always end up getting sucked into the character’s emotions haha!
What happens next? 😀
You can read it now Dania, thanks for visiting my site!
great story! 🙂
Thanks Ganesh!
Wow! That story was chilling, gripped me very tightly, it just seemed to suck me in and I immediately thought “Oh my gosh! What’s going to happen to her? They’re in the bedroom? Eeeeek!” I’ve read your other comments, I can’t wait to read more, really nail biting, edge of seat writing. Great stuff.
Hey great friend, thanks for stopping by, you can read more if you click on my archives, I wrote it in November, It’s titled ‘TIME, MIna’s Pain.’ I will release it as a novel later in the year!
Blessings:)
[…] Here’s a recap of the first draft of the story here: https://seyisandradavid.org/2012/11/21/time/ […]
I like the hint of mystery in what’s happening. Defnitely looking forward to what becomes of this.