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”Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” Desmond Tutu
John Parker wanted to tell the kind man who’d saved him from death, but the words caught in his throat. He mumbled inaudibly then coughed loudly. He desperately wanted to unburden and bare his soul to Anselm but realised his new friend would probably call him a monster.
Time dragged on, and Parker waited. The silence in the room was as thick as a winter fog. How could he utter such words to a total stranger? How could he tell Anselm that his girlfriend of 12 years had been diced to pieces and kept inside his deep freezer. Why? Anselm may ask. ‘Oh,’ he may simply shrug his skinny shoulders and just give an excuse, maybe, because he caught her cheating and their seven-year old daughter, Amber, wasn’t his after all. How could he tell Anselm that he, Parker, was a psycho, a sociopath, a sadist whose pain went deeper than imagined? How in heaven’s name could he tell his new pal that he’d been in prison; a prison of the mind where walls whispered obscenities and the only respite he got would be to slash himself open. How could he say such words?
‘I don’t think I should be in this room,’ Parker finally said and a sad sigh escaped his trembling lips. ‘I should go now.’
He stood up but Anselm stopped him with a wave of his large hands.
‘Sit down,’ the older man said firmly. Parker obeyed, his eyes staring straight ahead.
‘You’ve done bad things. I see it in your eyes. Even there’s pain in death, killing yourself doesn’t make it all go away. Get yourself treated, ask forgiveness and turn yourself in. There’s still redemption son.’
John Parker stared at Anselm. His English was flawless, he’d dropped the German accent.
‘Who are you?’ Parker asked slowly.
‘I’m your conscience,’ was the apt reply and the room began to spin.
John woke up with a start, his heart beating wildly. He sat up and checked the bedside clock. It was 3 a.m. in the morning. He’d been dreaming, it was a huge relief but the incident in the dream wasn’t far from reality, his eyes sought his wife of 12 years who was sleeping soundly. He’d been hiding the voices in his head well, it was difficult explaining to his GP that he’d been battling severe depression for three years. After the loss of his job and his wife became the breadwinner, he’d slowly sunk deeper into the quagmire of depression.
There’s only one brave thing left to do, he tapped his wife gently on the shoulder, it’s better safe than sorry, he thought.
NP: Guys, I’m sorry I couldn’t post this story yesterday, I tried but life just got in the way. I totally had a different plot to this story but then, it occurred to me that men hide their frailty. They go through life as brave hearts, pillars, unmovable and then they crumple! If you’re a man reading this, please, don’t bottle things up if you’re not well. Life is in phases. Talk to your spouse, close friend or even your doctor. Depression affects a lot of people in our society today and some needless deaths could easily have been avoided if things hadn’t gotten out of hand.
The first part of this story is here if you want to catch up: http://seyisandradavid.org/2015/08/11/dreaming-when-awake/
I hope you’ll all have a wonderful weekend!
Much love, always!! :)
I believe in life after death, not every one does, but I do. Human beings aren’t merely flesh and blood, we have souls, and soul are indestructible. I’ve got friends who are atheists, so I’m not going to expand too much on this before I start a debate that would rival a sitting in the House of Commons.
Yesterday marked exactly ten years when people with warped views of life took the lives of 52 Londoners, they also left almost 100 people with life changing injuries and scars. Yeah I know, my post is a day late but the topic isn’t. After work yesterday, I caught a few glimpse on the news and was sad at such wanton destruction of human lives. But I was proud, (in fact, I still am) to be a Londoner. Years has passed, but we’ve grown stronger as a city. More tourists visited London than ever before, I love travelling on the tube, bus or on a private car. It’s testament to the fact that evil will and cannot win.
If we read the news, there’s always stuff that would make our tummies churn (my daughter always says that), but life isn’t all gore and horror. There’s the incomparable breath of fresh air, there’s the sheer joy of clean water, what about the juicy goodness of an orange? The list is endless, life is good, and it’s tough, I won’t dispute that.
The relatives of the 7/7 bombing and the senseless and needless attack in Sousse would be comforted by the love and prayers sent their way. I believe in prayers but I also believe in living each day with a heart of thanksgiving in spite of my circumstances, that, I believe is what would keep me sane and out of the ashes of stress and despair. My husband used to say that everyone has problems, it’s just our ways of dealing with life’s daily grind that’s different.
I would end my post with this simple quote from Groucho Marx, ‘I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.’ NP: I’m still writing, albeit slowly. I’ve informed my publisher of my inability to submit my manuscripts until next year. Life seems to have a way of sending many distractions my way and I always oblige :) I hope everyone is fine. Please, stay safe! Much love to you guys, always! :) :)
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The most constant thing in life is change. Sometimes we may try to fight it, other times, we could do the wise thing and let nature or life, as the case may be, take its course. As Heraclitus, the Greek Philosopher would say, ”there is nothing permanent except change.”
I agree, the only constant thing in life is change. George Bernard Shaw also penned that ”progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
However, how do we enjoy the changing seasons of our lives? How do we glide seamlessly through the seemingly unknown tides of change? We could either attune our attitudes to conform to whatever changes are before us or despair which would do us more harm than good. Not all changes are bad, actually, some things needed changing to ultimately give us a breather in the chaotic life we sometimes lead.
Using myself as an example, I’d deliberately changed some aspects of my life, and life has thrust some changes on me too. Like when my dad passed, or when I left my job, or when I decided to go solo on my career. Those were necessary but not all changes are pleasant though; the death of a loved one, betrayals from people you love, not been able to keep up mortgage repayments, illness, financial worries…
The list is endless but there are good changes too; the chuckling of a baby, the miracle of new birth, finding love, nature, the beauty of life in its entirety. I could go on and on about changes. I don’t think we should shy away from it. Most times, a seemingly bad change in fortune could well be a catalyst for a better and more productive life.
When our situation changes, it will do us well to live in spite of it. Sir Pratchett said it best in the above picture. I think we should live well before it’s too late.
I’ve missed you all, and I hope you’re all well. I’ll be popping by your sites as time permits! Have a great Easter, and if you’re not a Christian, have a great holiday!
Much love guys! :)
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Life (love) is a pilgrimage. The wise man does not rest by the roadside inns. He marches direct to the illimitable domain of eternal bliss, his ultimate destination.
How does one attain bliss in life? How does one attain bliss in relationships? I don’t think there is a clean-cut answer, but I bet it starts with a pure heart. That doesn’t mean the pure don’t get dumped, they do, but they can always pick themselves up again and march on regardless of their situation.
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Today marked the 7oth year of the liberation of that notorious death trap in Poland, Auschwitz. It’s a solemn day for the 300 hundred survivors who attended. Roman Kent, who gave a very moving speech where he implored people not to become bystanders, those words stood out for me. The word struck a chord in my heart, and I realise that by and large, we could be guilty of being a bystander.
We can do more to make the world a better place, but rather, we sometimes turn our eyes away, thinking, ‘it’s not my problem, I’ve got enough of my own.’ True, we all have one baggage or the other tied to our tired gait, but if every human on this planet (minus ISIS, Hezbollah, Al Qaeda, Boko Haram and all those crazed lunatics prancing about killing innocent people in the name of their blood sucking god, they relish in murders anyway), decides to stamp out evil, malice, hatred and our differences, we would be living in a crime-free world indeed.
I don’t want to be a bystander, I really don’t. If we all feel like that, maybe, there would be a chance that the world would prevent another near annihilation of innocent people.
For this post not to be an irony, I have to state categorically that Auschwitz is practically repeating itself all over the world. Killings of civilians continue unabated while the world looks on unperturbed. If I were to be the president of the world, I would abolish all weapons of mass destruction. However, since I am not, and would never be, I think I would be able to abolish hatred on my street.
Spreading a little love around need not bring any ills to the giver, and while I go to work daily afraid of a bomb going off by a crazed Jihadist, I still have hope that one day, all that ails the world would soon be forgotten.
I know we can’t choose where we come from but we can choose where we go from there.
I remain your loyal friend. :)
NP: I have missed several posts from some of you, please bear with me friends. This new adventure I’d recently embarked upon (writing two novels at once) makes me search for time, but I would find it and visit your lovely sites soon!
Much love, always! :)
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This year would be the first Christmas without my dad. Apparently, it’s been eight months since his passing and I should have gotten used to it now but it hurt most when I know I can’t hear his voice. We were quite close and as this year is slowly rolling to an end, I wished I could hear him call my name softly; just one more time! *sigh*
However, acknowledging my grief was a good thing, and it has helped me on the road to recovery. Some days, it was unbearable, other days I limped through it. Then last week, while I was doing the dishes and listening to a song called ‘hallelujah,’ I was overwhelmed and burst into tears but my spirit then envisioned my dad at peace and with Jesus, immediately, my tears stopped and I felt better than I had in months. I still miss him, and it still hurt, but I have that confidence that he’s at peace.
I hope I’m not dampening your Christmas spirit, if I am, just stop reading, :) but there’s a miracle in blogging to friends whatever situation you’re in. A trouble shared is a trouble solved, I think I’ve read that somewhere. :)
Now with that off my chest, I saw this picture about two days ago and I absolutely love it. Christ is real, and He’s the reason for Christmas, that’s why I titled this post the double C, ‘Christ for Christmas.’ I don’t think political correctness should still be at play in this beautiful season, and if it is, that’s a shame.
I wish everyone a beautiful and Merry Christmas, to all my Christian friends, I pray the Joy and hope Jesus gives would be yours forever, to my non-Christian friends, I wish you a peaceful and happy holidays.
Much love, always! :)